Off-Balance

I've been an emotional wreck this weekend. 


Much of what has been a part of my life, has been a stabilizing force in my life, has given me identity over the past 8 years has or is ending, changing. And it isn't so much that things have changed, because change is constant, it's that the things that have changed have given me more stability and identity than I realized.  I'm finding I don't know how to cope with these loses. I'm feeling unraveled and not sure where or how to proceed.

I was released from an organization I've been a part of for the past 7 years. I didn't realize it, but that calling has defined me in so many ways. It has given me purpose and direction. My relationship with my roommate has shifted dramatically over the past couple of years, and that has caused me some heartache and insecurity. And she is currently facing a very difficult time and change in her own life, which leaves me aching for her.

Each of these things has given me more security, direction and identity than I realized. With their loss, I feel unsure and disconnected with the direction my life will and should take, even a little bit with who I am.