Several months ago I read a couple of really insightful articles about what to do if your gay loved one invites you (a Christian with traditional values) to their wedding. These spoke to me, as I had recently announced my engagement to my partner of 11 years. And while most of my family and friends responded in loving and supportive ways, not all did. Some have some very real concerns and fears, and are torn as to what to do. They aren't sure they can support me in this decision, and therefore not sure they can attend the wedding. Because wouldn't that then mean they supported same-sex marriage?
As my wedding day is now only 2 months away, these articles came back to my mind as I thought about my family and friends who may still be struggling with their feelings and wondering how to respond.
For those individuals and anyone else who may be interested, I've linked two of those articles here.
Good article here, and here. They are both very well written and encourage readers to ask the hard questions and offer some suggestions on ways to respond.
I have many family and friends who have looked deeply and have asked some of those hard questions. I'm grateful for their openness and willingness to realize we may never know the reasons and answers to every question, but they can still love me where I am.
As an example, while attending church several weeks ago, a woman approached me and Kim and said: "I hear congratulations are in order for you two. How exciting! I'm
happy for you." At church. She didn't say 1)"I feel sad about your
decision", or 2) anything about how she views gay marriage. When I see
her, I won't say "There's someone who supports gay marriage" cuz she
never said that. I'll say "There's a friend" because nothing more needed
to be said.
And then, just because it makes me giggle, I share this quote:
"Gay marriage - I am so against it because all my gay friends are out.
And if they get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts." - Joan
Rivers
Showing posts with label Support. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Support. Show all posts
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Monday, October 28, 2013
Willing To Mourn
I recently read a blog post in which the blogger quoted the words of another gay Mormon. I want to post part of that blog, and the words he quoted here. The full post is here. And while quite long, worth the read.
"Her name is Emily Stephens. She's in her thirties and is a writer. Her coming out was accidental. She responded to a thread on a group called Mormons Building Bridges, and didn't realize it was open to all her Facebook friends to see. Her words are powerful and very direct. In asking where the post came from, she said she was very moved when a non-SSA member was perplexed at some of the harshness that has surrounded the issue of homosexuality in the recent conference. Here are Emily's quotes below:
I could have written much of that post. These words especially touched me: "I am active LDS, served a mission, attend the temple. I love to serve in YWs! I love to pay a full tithe! And, I pray every night that Heavenly Father will be merciful and let me die."
I don't think I've read sadder words in my life. They bring tears to my eyes every time I read them. I could have written those words.
I also very much feel as Emily does about those members who are brave enough to ask the hard questions. To reach out in love even though they don't understand. I have good people like that in my life. And I am very grateful. Especially as I make choice changes that bring me more in line with what I feel is my life's path. Who cry with me because they get a sense of just how difficult this choice is and what loss it certainly will bring with it.
"Her name is Emily Stephens. She's in her thirties and is a writer. Her coming out was accidental. She responded to a thread on a group called Mormons Building Bridges, and didn't realize it was open to all her Facebook friends to see. Her words are powerful and very direct. In asking where the post came from, she said she was very moved when a non-SSA member was perplexed at some of the harshness that has surrounded the issue of homosexuality in the recent conference. Here are Emily's quotes below:
Jann...your post's last statement is so penetrating... "...why would the church put up a website about mormons and gays and it have loving language, but the GA's talk about it with such vileness???"
I am active LDS, served a mission, attend the temple. I love to serve in YWs! I love to pay a full tithe! And, I pray every night that Heavenly Father will be merciful and let me die. I've survived being LDS and gay for 13 years, sometimes barely. I figured it out when I was 22. The messages this weekend conveyed to me exactly what you wrote. I must acknowledge that. I'd like to ignore those talks and only think about Uchtdorf's talk, but I heard their words. My heart has felt their words. They aren't going away. They aren't even new words. It is what has been said for years. I have a testimony of the gospel. So, I don't understand why my church hates me so much. Why do they insist repeatedly that I am vile? Why am I targeted at all? Because I "love" wrong?
I am terrified of people in my stake finding out I am gay. Though I am more than sure they suspect. In the past, I had a loving and compassionate bishop tell me that if people found out, my calling with the youth would be in jeopardy. Just if they found out I am "gay." I have never been kissed in my entire life. Never held hands. I've loved secretly and deeply in my heart, but was taught to do so with the greatest of shame.
It is often suggested that same-sex marriage is the root cause of the degradation of the family--how is that possible? If we are to be discussing vile at Conference, why aren't we talking about pornography, infidelity, deadbeat parents, addictions, abuse, the objectification of women, pregnancy outside of wedlock. And when we discuss those things which truly threaten the family, why aren't we doing so with compassion, asking "how can we help?" instead of the fearful, "how can I isolate my family from the world?"
Jann, I want to praise members like you who are brave enough to ask these questions. I want to thank members who are courageous enough to see the disparity and deeply feel the pain it causes and are willing to succor people like me nonetheless. It is brothers and sisters like you that successfully place my backside in that pew every Sunday to partake of the sacrament. It is you who gives me hope, especially in a place where being willing to see us with compassion is an insurmountable task. God bless you."
I could have written much of that post. These words especially touched me: "I am active LDS, served a mission, attend the temple. I love to serve in YWs! I love to pay a full tithe! And, I pray every night that Heavenly Father will be merciful and let me die."
I don't think I've read sadder words in my life. They bring tears to my eyes every time I read them. I could have written those words.
I also very much feel as Emily does about those members who are brave enough to ask the hard questions. To reach out in love even though they don't understand. I have good people like that in my life. And I am very grateful. Especially as I make choice changes that bring me more in line with what I feel is my life's path. Who cry with me because they get a sense of just how difficult this choice is and what loss it certainly will bring with it.
Friday, September 20, 2013
How Many Times?
It happens pretty much without fail. Every time I hit a new low, like is demonstrated in the previous post, I reach out in some way to the Lord. I write out my frustrations. I pray very honestly. And every time I reach out to Him, I find He is there reaching back. And once again I feel the reassurance, hope and love of His spirit envelope me like a blanket. And everything is okay again.
I love this song by Plumb. I've prayed these words many times in my life.
I love this song by Plumb. I've prayed these words many times in my life.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Still Here
Yes. I'm still here.
This blog has been on my mind a lot lately, though I haven't had a lot I've needed to add. So it continues to sit un-updated.
But recently, I read another blog post that really spoke to me and touched me. So I thought I would link it here. I highly, strongly, really, really encourage you to go read it.
The Montgomery's have a son who recently came out to them. They are amazing parents and have been very open and honest in the way they've struggled and learned to deal with this very complex issue.
Just in case you decide you just don't want to click on that link above, let me quote part of it.
"The [LDS] Church is acknowledging that the answers to homosexuality are far more complex than any of the answers they have provided in the past. Twice [on the website www.mormonsandgays.org] homosexuality is referred to as complex. For those who are living this reality, this probably seems like an understatement. But for members on the outside with no experience with such matters and no personal relationships with someone who is gay it seems cut and dry. They have very simple, easy, primary level answers for your life. Here are many of the simplistic answers we have heard from members of the Church:
Just pray harder and it will go away. We personally had two LDS Social Services therapists and members of our local Church leadership tell us that by just increasing our faith and the sincerity of our prayers, our son’s homosexuality would go away. No amount of prayer can change God’s will for someone’s life?
Everyone is expected to live the same law of chastity. If by living the same law you mean comparing being chaste before marriage to never being able to express any sexual desire for the entirety of your life, then no. The law of Chastity has completely different implications for the lives of LGBT individuals. This law is definitely not equal in its application.
Living celibate is no different than single members who never marry. No. One is living with hope and the ability to express and receive love even if it never matures to a marriage. The other is the suppression of every sexual desire and being taught that such desires are wrong and of the devil.
Being gay is just another temptation in life like a disposition to alcohol, drugs or violence. This was actually taught in at a stake youth event by our local Church leaders. This line of thinking begins with the assumption of deviancy in LGBT people. Another local Church leader counseled us that my 13 year old gay son should not share a room with his 7 year old brother, because heaven forbid what he might do to him. Being different does not make you inherently evil.
Being gay is only a condition of this life. You were not gay before and will be fixed in the afterlife. I am not sure if there is a more destructive theology. It teaches that you are fundamentally broken and cannot be fixed until the afterlife. Yet in all other respects, who we are and the character we develop and the intelligence we gain in this life all proceed with us to the next life. Except being gay. At best this is a flawed philosophy with no scriptural or moral basis."
Now, again, for the full story, please go read the blog post.
This blog has been on my mind a lot lately, though I haven't had a lot I've needed to add. So it continues to sit un-updated.
But recently, I read another blog post that really spoke to me and touched me. So I thought I would link it here. I highly, strongly, really, really encourage you to go read it.
The Montgomery's have a son who recently came out to them. They are amazing parents and have been very open and honest in the way they've struggled and learned to deal with this very complex issue.
Just in case you decide you just don't want to click on that link above, let me quote part of it.
"The [LDS] Church is acknowledging that the answers to homosexuality are far more complex than any of the answers they have provided in the past. Twice [on the website www.mormonsandgays.org] homosexuality is referred to as complex. For those who are living this reality, this probably seems like an understatement. But for members on the outside with no experience with such matters and no personal relationships with someone who is gay it seems cut and dry. They have very simple, easy, primary level answers for your life. Here are many of the simplistic answers we have heard from members of the Church:
Just pray harder and it will go away. We personally had two LDS Social Services therapists and members of our local Church leadership tell us that by just increasing our faith and the sincerity of our prayers, our son’s homosexuality would go away. No amount of prayer can change God’s will for someone’s life?
Everyone is expected to live the same law of chastity. If by living the same law you mean comparing being chaste before marriage to never being able to express any sexual desire for the entirety of your life, then no. The law of Chastity has completely different implications for the lives of LGBT individuals. This law is definitely not equal in its application.
Living celibate is no different than single members who never marry. No. One is living with hope and the ability to express and receive love even if it never matures to a marriage. The other is the suppression of every sexual desire and being taught that such desires are wrong and of the devil.
Being gay is just another temptation in life like a disposition to alcohol, drugs or violence. This was actually taught in at a stake youth event by our local Church leaders. This line of thinking begins with the assumption of deviancy in LGBT people. Another local Church leader counseled us that my 13 year old gay son should not share a room with his 7 year old brother, because heaven forbid what he might do to him. Being different does not make you inherently evil.
Being gay is only a condition of this life. You were not gay before and will be fixed in the afterlife. I am not sure if there is a more destructive theology. It teaches that you are fundamentally broken and cannot be fixed until the afterlife. Yet in all other respects, who we are and the character we develop and the intelligence we gain in this life all proceed with us to the next life. Except being gay. At best this is a flawed philosophy with no scriptural or moral basis."
Now, again, for the full story, please go read the blog post.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Great Ward
I have a pretty great ward.
For those of you in my ward (and stake) who read this...Thank You!
Thank you for loving me just the way I am. Thank you for trying to understand. Thanks for staying my friend and for not running away screaming. Or even running away silently. That means the world to me.
You have no idea how your friendship has helped me these last several months.
For those of you in my ward (and stake) who read this...Thank You!
Thank you for loving me just the way I am. Thank you for trying to understand. Thanks for staying my friend and for not running away screaming. Or even running away silently. That means the world to me.
You have no idea how your friendship has helped me these last several months.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Letting Others Adjust
Well, I just wanted to take a minute and followup on my post about Finding Peace in Truth, that I recently posted to my facebook for all to see who wished.
I wasn't sure exactly how well that would be received by some. It's always a risk to share something so personal, and in such a public way.
But I have to say I have been very pleasantly surprised. The responses I received from those who were willing to comment were absolutely positive, encouraging, full of love and understanding, and more importantly - acceptance.
I have received no negative reactions (at least to my face, and I guess that's good). ;) About the only thing I have noticed, is that a few (very few) people have seemed a little more "stand-off-ish". They still acknowledge me, and talk to me, but I can tell they are trying to deal with this new information, and aren't exactly sure how to.
I can accept and appreciate that. When I first realized and accepted this little fact about myself, I was a bit stand-off-ish towards myself as well. :) It took me a long time to truly accept that this was simply a part of who I was ... and I was still who I had always been. I think that is what's hard for some people - they've known me (and others who "come out") for so long, that with this new information that seems so unlikely, and so contrary to the way they've viewed me this whole time, that they somehow see me as a different person suddenly. And now have to reassess everything about who I am. When in reality, I have not changed one little bit. I'm still the same old me I've always been.
But still, for some it takes time. I'm actually more amazed by those who seem to not need any time to adjust to this new information. Truly, that is incredible.
I wasn't sure exactly how well that would be received by some. It's always a risk to share something so personal, and in such a public way.
But I have to say I have been very pleasantly surprised. The responses I received from those who were willing to comment were absolutely positive, encouraging, full of love and understanding, and more importantly - acceptance.
I have received no negative reactions (at least to my face, and I guess that's good). ;) About the only thing I have noticed, is that a few (very few) people have seemed a little more "stand-off-ish". They still acknowledge me, and talk to me, but I can tell they are trying to deal with this new information, and aren't exactly sure how to.
I can accept and appreciate that. When I first realized and accepted this little fact about myself, I was a bit stand-off-ish towards myself as well. :) It took me a long time to truly accept that this was simply a part of who I was ... and I was still who I had always been. I think that is what's hard for some people - they've known me (and others who "come out") for so long, that with this new information that seems so unlikely, and so contrary to the way they've viewed me this whole time, that they somehow see me as a different person suddenly. And now have to reassess everything about who I am. When in reality, I have not changed one little bit. I'm still the same old me I've always been.
But still, for some it takes time. I'm actually more amazed by those who seem to not need any time to adjust to this new information. Truly, that is incredible.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Finding Peace in Truth
I'm not sure I'm in the right frame of mind to be writing this post. But I have also been praying to feel more connected, to feel more whole and complete, to recognize my blessings, to know the Lord's will for me. And as I sat here just a bit ago writing in my journal, and then catching up on facebook, the idea of writing this post came to me. So I'm following up on that thought.
I'm not even sure I know what I want to say or how to say it.
But if you are here at my blog reading this (for the first time), you likely also read the "about me" section and blog description. So I guess it's kind of already been said.
Many people in my life know I'm gay. My family knows and a few close friends, as well as some acquaintances in the "gay community" and elsewhere. But for the most part, I'm still mostly closeted. I don't share that part of my life much. I don't particularly hide it, but I also don't usually bring it up in conversation even if the timing feels okay. Why that is, I'm not entirely sure. Those who do know have been absolutely, amazingly wonderful. Thank you. However, fear of rejection is certainly still there. Fear of trying to explain that although I am indeed gay, I am also very happily active LDS and live those standards the best I can.
So, yeah. It can get complicated. And sometimes I just don't want to try and explain all that. And then there's that little nagging thing that comes up for me much too often - fear of being judged, or worse, misjudged. Judged by the LDS community for being gay. Judged by the gay community for remaining active LDS. However, I guess if someone wants/needs to judge, that's none of my business.
So, despite that fear, I felt it was time to publicly "out" myself. For what reason, I don't fully know. What I do know is this:
- I am a daughter of God. He knows and loves me exactly the way I am.
- The Savior does indeed live. He has called prophets and apostles in this time (as in times of old) to lead and carry forth His Church and Gospel to the world.
- Joseph Smith did indeed see God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ in the flesh. Through him, the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ was brought to light, and Christ's church was fully restored to the Earth.
- I am not, nor have I ever been attracted to men. But oh how I've tried. I've tried and tried, because it would sure make life a lot easier. Alas...
- For whatever reason, I am a gay woman.
And believe it or not, that has been one of the most amazing blessings in my life. Because it has caused me to seek out my Savior time and time and time again. My relationship with Him has been strengthened as I have struggled to make sense of the life before me. There are still so many things I don't know. So much that still brings hurt and heartache. But I love and trust in the Lord. He is my strength. He is my redeemer. His spirit brings peace in the most unlikely times and places.
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give unto you."
Monday, June 4, 2012
Feeling Pride in My Sunday Service
I'm not sure I really have the words for this post.
I took the opportunity on Sunday to spend the morning at the Gay Pride Parade. There is a group, Mormons Building Bridges, that entered to march in this parade as a way to reach out with love and understanding to the LGBT community.
I'll admit, when I first heard about this, I was hesitant to go. One, because I would miss church, which I feel very strongly about attending. And two, I was worried we would be met with feelings and words of animosity. After all, the LDS Church hasn't been all too supportive of gays in the past. But being an active, believing member, and gay, I decided it was something I needed to do.
I can't even describe how amazing it was. When we first arrived, we ran into my sister and brother-in-law. I was so thrilled to have family to walk with. That was just the beginning.
As we waited at the staging area for the parade to start, men and women in suits and dresses continued to come, and fill in the street. The organizers were hoping for 100 people. Someone counted over 400.
Once we started walking, I was still somewhat hesitant, and I could feel that in the crowd of marchers as well. But it didn't last long at all. As soon as we started, and met the parade spectators, their cheers absolutely overwhelmed me.
I saw many tears from those on the side. So many people shouting "thank you". Tears, waves, smiles and an overwhelming feeling of gratitude filled the air. Hearts were softened and opened wide. I felt so good being there. There was such amazing energy.
The posters people carried were simple and full of love:
“God loves all his children”
-President Uchtdorf
“...love thy neighbour as thyself.”
-Matt 22:39
“Jesus said love everyone,treat them kindly too...”
-Primary song
“...we will reach out with love and understanding to all...”. -Elder Ballard
“We believe in doing good to all...”. -13th Article of Faith
“If ye are not one ye are not mine...” -D&C 38:27
"God Is love"
-1 John 4:8
There is sunshine in my soul today!
LDS ♡ LGBT"
I'll walk with you, I'll talk with you, that's how I'll show my love for you"
-Primary Song My favorite moment: My roomie and her daughter, who also walked in the parade, in a huge embrace.
I felt the Spirit in such abundance that morning.
It kind of reminds me of what the early saints did when they learned there were still hand-cart companies out on the plains and struggling to make it to the SL Valley. During his General Conference address, Brigham Young said:
"That is my religion; that is the dictation of the Holy Ghost that I possess. It is to save the people. This is the salvation I am now seeking for. To save our brethren that would be apt to perish, or suffer extremely, if we do not send them assistance...I felt like we were involved in a rescue of love. My Stake President recently challenged us all to read the Book of Mormon cover to cover by July 1 and to mark every reference or idea about Rescue. My mind has been full of the idea of rescue since. Sunday's march was an act of rescue. Living what I was being taught from my Stake President through the scriptures.
“I will tell you all that your faith, religion, and profession of religion, will never save one soul of you in the Celestial Kingdom of our God, unless you carry out just such principles as I am now teaching you. Go and bring in those people now on the plains. And attend strictly to those things which we call temporal, or temporal duties. Otherwise, your faith will be in vain. The preaching you have heard will be in vain to you, and you will sink to Hell, unless you attend to the things we tell you.”
Reaching out in love, acceptance and kindness to our brothers and sisters who have been "stranded" is an act of rescue. What good is my faith, my religion if I am not willing to do as the Lord has said, and reach out in love to my neighbor?
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Difficult Trust
Some thoughts, feelings and questions I've had lately:
Church councils. I wonder about these more so than I ever have before because my roomie is going through one today, for an issue that ultimately she can't really do anything about and remain who she is. I was really struggling with this idea the other night, and the thought came to me that if anything were to put a wedge between me and my testimony of the church, it would be this. If she is excommunicated, what chance does she have of ever coming back in to full fellowship in the church, with all the rights, blessings and privileges available? Again, only if she gives up a big portion of who she is, and chooses to live a half life. And yet, she is one of the most spiritual, god-fearing people I know. She seeks and follows God's will for her as she feels she receives it. She loves the Lord with all her heart. She has a testimony of the gospel in its fulness. Of Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, priesthood, prophets, personal revelation, the Atonement of the Savior. So to excommunicate someone like that just feels wrong and not helpful at all.When someone has that kind of love for the Savior, and for Prophets, and the gospel, to excommunicate them and take away the very things they likely need for support has always felt wrong to me. If they are struggling with something, help them. Don't punish them. Unless they have no desire to remain attached to the church. Or are preaching false, vain and foolish doctrine and are trying to lead others away, or bash and destroy the church. Otherwise, let them keep their membership in the church. Let them serve. Let them participate and be strengthened by that activity.
But even in this she has been an example to me. Whatever the decision today, she isn't going anywhere. She isn't going to speak negatively of church leaders. She understands that this won't change her relationship with the Savior, or affect His love for her in the least. She isn't about to leave the Church, despite some of the flaws that might exist within some of the policies and practices. She is truly an example to me in this.
So, I must follow her example and just trust. Trust that whatever happens today, her relationship with her Savior is intact. Though she will miss out on many of the blessings of the gospel, some of which are very personally important, she is still led and guided by His Spirit. She still follows His will for her in her life as she understands it. I need to trust also.
One of the things that has come to my mind that brings me some hope and comfort, and maybe a little understanding is Article of Faith 9: "We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God."
I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the true and living Church of Christ on earth. I know that it contains "all that God has revealed" up to this point in history. In that sense, it does contain His fullness. But, there are "many great and important things" yet to be revealed. I don't know what that is. But I do know that we don't yet know all things. Our understanding, our ways, are not His ways. And "that all things work together for good to them that love God."(Romans 8:28)
That is what I have to hang onto. Trust and have faith.
Church councils. I wonder about these more so than I ever have before because my roomie is going through one today, for an issue that ultimately she can't really do anything about and remain who she is. I was really struggling with this idea the other night, and the thought came to me that if anything were to put a wedge between me and my testimony of the church, it would be this. If she is excommunicated, what chance does she have of ever coming back in to full fellowship in the church, with all the rights, blessings and privileges available? Again, only if she gives up a big portion of who she is, and chooses to live a half life. And yet, she is one of the most spiritual, god-fearing people I know. She seeks and follows God's will for her as she feels she receives it. She loves the Lord with all her heart. She has a testimony of the gospel in its fulness. Of Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, priesthood, prophets, personal revelation, the Atonement of the Savior. So to excommunicate someone like that just feels wrong and not helpful at all.When someone has that kind of love for the Savior, and for Prophets, and the gospel, to excommunicate them and take away the very things they likely need for support has always felt wrong to me. If they are struggling with something, help them. Don't punish them. Unless they have no desire to remain attached to the church. Or are preaching false, vain and foolish doctrine and are trying to lead others away, or bash and destroy the church. Otherwise, let them keep their membership in the church. Let them serve. Let them participate and be strengthened by that activity.
But even in this she has been an example to me. Whatever the decision today, she isn't going anywhere. She isn't going to speak negatively of church leaders. She understands that this won't change her relationship with the Savior, or affect His love for her in the least. She isn't about to leave the Church, despite some of the flaws that might exist within some of the policies and practices. She is truly an example to me in this.
So, I must follow her example and just trust. Trust that whatever happens today, her relationship with her Savior is intact. Though she will miss out on many of the blessings of the gospel, some of which are very personally important, she is still led and guided by His Spirit. She still follows His will for her in her life as she understands it. I need to trust also.
One of the things that has come to my mind that brings me some hope and comfort, and maybe a little understanding is Article of Faith 9: "We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God."
I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the true and living Church of Christ on earth. I know that it contains "all that God has revealed" up to this point in history. In that sense, it does contain His fullness. But, there are "many great and important things" yet to be revealed. I don't know what that is. But I do know that we don't yet know all things. Our understanding, our ways, are not His ways. And "that all things work together for good to them that love God."(Romans 8:28)
That is what I have to hang onto. Trust and have faith.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Caring for The One
I considered putting this little experience on my nature blog, but as I thought about what happened and the title of this post, I thought it would fit better here.
On my way to work one morning I watched a small flock of White-faced Ibis flying over the lake.
As I watched, I noticed one ibis behind the main flock, flapping with all its might to catch up with the rest. I felt sorry for that bird. It's harder for a solitary bird to fly as fast as a flock, because with a flock, the lead birds provide a draft for the birds behind, making it easier for them to fly. This way, the entire flock can fly faster and more efficiently.
As I watched that lone bird struggling to catch up, three other birds broke off the main flock and fell back enough to allow the lone bird to catch them.
With the support of the other ibis, the lone bird had the added strength and support to catch up with the main flock.
It made my whole day watching that.
On my way to work one morning I watched a small flock of White-faced Ibis flying over the lake.
As I watched, I noticed one ibis behind the main flock, flapping with all its might to catch up with the rest. I felt sorry for that bird. It's harder for a solitary bird to fly as fast as a flock, because with a flock, the lead birds provide a draft for the birds behind, making it easier for them to fly. This way, the entire flock can fly faster and more efficiently.
As I watched that lone bird struggling to catch up, three other birds broke off the main flock and fell back enough to allow the lone bird to catch them.
With the support of the other ibis, the lone bird had the added strength and support to catch up with the main flock.
It made my whole day watching that.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Lessons in Wyoming
I have had an amazing week. For our Stake Youth Conference this year we had the opportunity to go on Trek to Martin's Cove in Wyoming. Martin's Cove is the location where the Martin Handcart Company, in 1856, took refuge from a heavy winter blizzard. Many people died in this place due to starvation, exposure, fatigue and the fact that the company had just crossed the Sweet Water River which had 4 inches of ice on it.
Our Stake youth and several leaders, myself included, spent three days in this area, pulling our handcarts and hearing stories of what these people experienced. The Spirit touched me deeply during our time in the actual cove where the company camped and where many were buried. We sang several songs while there, and at one point our Stake President encouraged us to sing loud and with conviction, and that if we did, the Spirit would touch our hearts with a witness of truth. I took that promise to heart, and sang the first line with full voice, but immediately was overcome by the Spirit. Tears kept me from singing after that.
After leaving Martin's Cove we had the chance to reenact one of the river crossings. The water was very high, so we couldn't take our carts, but we could walk across. We also had the use of a rope to keep us from being swept down river. As I crossed, I imagined attempting to do this in the winter, with ice encrusted water. Many of those original pioneers also carried others across, and several stayed in the water all day, helping those who could not cross themselves. There were nearly 600 people in Martin's company. This was an all day event for them. It was a humbling experience and again the spirit taught me truths.
The final major event for the day was what is called the Women's Pull. During the original crossing of the handcart companies, many of the men died due to starvation and exhaustion, leaving the women to carry on alone. At other times, their husbands and the men of the company simply were not there for other reasons. For our pull, our Stake Young Women President talked to the YW about being the Hope of Israel and standing for what is good and right. She shared a story of the strength and faith of one of her own ancestors who remained valiant and faithful despite challenges and difficulties in her own life.
As we started out toward the rocky slope we were to climb, the leaders were asked to step aside unless asked by their young women to help push and pull the handcarts. Most of the companies had their leaders help. But those young women in my company did not. So all I could do was walk along side them, encourage them, remind them I was there if they needed me. That was one of the hardest things I have ever done - watching these girls struggle up this hill, getting stopped by the rocks and the incline, and struggling though on their own. I am one who likes to be right in there, pushing, pulling, helping, in the trenches, lifting those around me. As I was anxiously walking along side, waiting for the words "please help", I understood on a level as never before how anxious and willing our Father in Heaven is for us to reach out to Him and ask for His help. I know He is there for us. I know He loves us beyond anything we can understand and when we need His help, he will be there to Help.
I know that is true. It does not matter what we face in life. It does not matter how bitter or challenging our struggles. Our Savior is there for us. He has already atoned for our sins, our mistakes, our weaknesses. Now He just wants us to accept that, and stay close to Him in our trials and in our triumphs.
All we have to do is ask, and He will be there.
Our Stake youth and several leaders, myself included, spent three days in this area, pulling our handcarts and hearing stories of what these people experienced. The Spirit touched me deeply during our time in the actual cove where the company camped and where many were buried. We sang several songs while there, and at one point our Stake President encouraged us to sing loud and with conviction, and that if we did, the Spirit would touch our hearts with a witness of truth. I took that promise to heart, and sang the first line with full voice, but immediately was overcome by the Spirit. Tears kept me from singing after that.
After leaving Martin's Cove we had the chance to reenact one of the river crossings. The water was very high, so we couldn't take our carts, but we could walk across. We also had the use of a rope to keep us from being swept down river. As I crossed, I imagined attempting to do this in the winter, with ice encrusted water. Many of those original pioneers also carried others across, and several stayed in the water all day, helping those who could not cross themselves. There were nearly 600 people in Martin's company. This was an all day event for them. It was a humbling experience and again the spirit taught me truths.
The final major event for the day was what is called the Women's Pull. During the original crossing of the handcart companies, many of the men died due to starvation and exhaustion, leaving the women to carry on alone. At other times, their husbands and the men of the company simply were not there for other reasons. For our pull, our Stake Young Women President talked to the YW about being the Hope of Israel and standing for what is good and right. She shared a story of the strength and faith of one of her own ancestors who remained valiant and faithful despite challenges and difficulties in her own life.
As we started out toward the rocky slope we were to climb, the leaders were asked to step aside unless asked by their young women to help push and pull the handcarts. Most of the companies had their leaders help. But those young women in my company did not. So all I could do was walk along side them, encourage them, remind them I was there if they needed me. That was one of the hardest things I have ever done - watching these girls struggle up this hill, getting stopped by the rocks and the incline, and struggling though on their own. I am one who likes to be right in there, pushing, pulling, helping, in the trenches, lifting those around me. As I was anxiously walking along side, waiting for the words "please help", I understood on a level as never before how anxious and willing our Father in Heaven is for us to reach out to Him and ask for His help. I know He is there for us. I know He loves us beyond anything we can understand and when we need His help, he will be there to Help.
I know that is true. It does not matter what we face in life. It does not matter how bitter or challenging our struggles. Our Savior is there for us. He has already atoned for our sins, our mistakes, our weaknesses. Now He just wants us to accept that, and stay close to Him in our trials and in our triumphs.
All we have to do is ask, and He will be there.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Only Kind of Out There
I think the name of my blog is kind of funny. Because while I am "out there" in some circles - my family, a few select friends, my bishop - I am, on the whole, 'not' out there.
There are some people in my life who really are very honest and open. My roommate is one of those. I love her dearly. She is, in almost every way, my partner in life (minus the physically intimate side). She is SSA and dealing in her own way. She is also LDS and very good about speaking up when she feels prompted to do so. Because of that, she has a lot of support in her life. Most people still really like and support her - even in the church ::gasp:: . When she recently was faced with a difficult situation, she was able to confide in people who know her and love her. And therefore, she has great support.
I want that. I need that. Even though my family knows of my SSA, I don't talk much about it with them. Even though I have some good friends who know, I don't talk much about it with them. I don't talk about it with my Bishop. I do talk about it with my roommate. But when she's going through her own stuff, sometimes that's hard to do. So I feel pretty isolated sometimes. Kind of lonely in this.
Hense this blog. I guess this is a way to reach out for support, but also, I hope, a way to give support. To increase my own understanding and help increase the understanding of others.
There are some people in my life who really are very honest and open. My roommate is one of those. I love her dearly. She is, in almost every way, my partner in life (minus the physically intimate side). She is SSA and dealing in her own way. She is also LDS and very good about speaking up when she feels prompted to do so. Because of that, she has a lot of support in her life. Most people still really like and support her - even in the church ::gasp:: . When she recently was faced with a difficult situation, she was able to confide in people who know her and love her. And therefore, she has great support.
I want that. I need that. Even though my family knows of my SSA, I don't talk much about it with them. Even though I have some good friends who know, I don't talk much about it with them. I don't talk about it with my Bishop. I do talk about it with my roommate. But when she's going through her own stuff, sometimes that's hard to do. So I feel pretty isolated sometimes. Kind of lonely in this.
Hense this blog. I guess this is a way to reach out for support, but also, I hope, a way to give support. To increase my own understanding and help increase the understanding of others.
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